Two marriages ended before I understood why. I always thought the problem was somewhere else. It took me a long time to look in the mirror and admit it was me.
I was good at performing. Good at looking like I had it handled. Good at saying "I'm fine" when someone asked. What I was not good at was being honest with myself about who I actually was underneath all of that.
I was angry and I did not know why. The world felt dark and I could not explain it. I had built things, achieved things, kept moving. But privately I was running a version of myself that I would not have chosen if I had seen it clearly.
I cannot tell you exactly when it shifted. There was no single moment. What I can tell you is that at some point I stopped performing fine and started doing the actual work. And that work changed everything.
Not overnight. Not cleanly. But it changed.